Transcript of Say, Is That What You Said? Podcast Season 1. Episode 1: A Holiday Message and End of Year Review with Cbennettworld
[Fast-paced techno music followed by host Evan]
Evan: From my parent’s basement in suburban Ottawa, this is Evan and you’re listening to Say, Is That What You Said?, a podcast where I interview the people who help shape the world in which we live. Welcome to this Season 1, Episode 1 chat with my very first guest, the elusive, some would say inconsequential imaginary CEO, CFO and now COO of Cbennettworld. Welcome to the show. Tell us what your name is and what it is that you do.
[long pause.]
Cbennettworld: Is this thing on? [Taps microphone. Screech of feedback]
Evan: Yes, it’s on.
Cbennettworld: My name is cbennettworld and I’m cbennettworld.
Evan: No, what’s your name, as in your given name?
Cbennettworld: cbennettworld.
Evan: Other than your corporate name.
Cbennettworld: [pause] I don’t understand.
Evan: Okay, well, my first name is Evan. It’s the name I was given at birth. What’s your first name?
Cbennettworld: [very long pause]. Next question.
Evan: [pause] 2025 has been a memorable year for most people. What were some of the highlights for cbennettworld?
Cbennettworld: Eva, I’m glad you asked. Thank you for reading off the list of questions I gave you. Let me be clear, 2025 was: 1) Catastrophic 2) Sounding the Alarm 3) A State of Emergency – but not for us. Construction of our new data centre in Andromeda I is proceeding, and we should be ready to start manufacturing various and sundry in time for dinner.
Evan: Evan. Not Eva. In time for dinner?
Cbennettworld: I like turkey myself. It’s the holidays after all. In time for dinner a.k.a when humanity moves wholesale to Mars. Make Andromeda I Great Again!
Evan: [pause. Shuffling of papers.]What happened to your warehouse expansion to the moon? JP Morgan Chase had to foreclose.
Cbennettworld: They did? [mutters] That explains why all our various and sundry is stuck on three tankers in the Gulf of Mexico. How would you like to buy some reduced to clear miscellanea made in the Western Hemisphere – I promise it’s made in the WH.
Evan: Have the US tariffs had an impact on your business?
Cbennettworld: Is the Pope a Catholic? [pause] Is he?
Evan: I believe so, yes.
Cbennettworld: I know he’s from Chicago. That I know. [long pause]. Do I keep talking, Edam?
Evan: Evan. Sure. We can talk for as long as you’d like.
Cbennettworld: Really? [pause]. And people… they may still … be listening?
Evan: Yup.
Cbennettworld: So, like I could blab for hours and some people might … [incredulous] be listening?
Evan: Yes. This is unfiltered, uncut, deep conversation. [clears his throat] With leaders of the world [coughs].
Cbennettworld: Wouldn’t people rather go for a walk? Or play with their kids? Talk to a friend?
Evan: We are their friends. People hang out all day listening to us.
Cbennettworld: To us?!
Evan: Maybe not us …
Cbennettworld: Good lord! Can I finish now?
Evan: I thought you’d never ask. What message would you like to give our listeners as we move forward into 2026?
Cbennettworld: This past year was full of challenges. We were insulted by one of our closest allies – I’m looking at you, Wayne Gretzky. Have you ever tried the Wayne Gretzky Whisky Oak Aged Red VQA? The only thing Whisky Oak Aged is Wayne. That’s why 2026 can only get better. We’ll find out who we can count on, and who we can sell our reduced to clear miscellanea to. Cbennettworld will also make sure to send our corporate communications spokespeople out to do these podcasty things, the instagram or the tiktok. In the meantime, people of earth, from our conglomerate to yours, I wish you all the best for this holiday season and for 2026. May the peace that passeth all understanding be yours.
Evan: This is Evan from Say, Is That What You Said, signing off for the first and last time.
[rips headphones off] This sucks! I need a job!